Erk. Part 1

"EEEEERRRRRKKKKKKKKKK"

It's what I wanna scream to the world, sadly my mouth fails me.

I'm tired.

Absolutely knackered.

This is the first time I've ever only slept for 9 hours in 2 days. Sure that may not be a biggy for some people. But I'm not 'some' people. I'm a guy who's unfit (for the moment), likes to SLEEP, likes to feel NORMAL, and stuff. jkjsaldkjaslk.

Woops.

The other day I met my friend A.J. He's been my Best Friend and basically has been my Brother since we first met. How did we meet?. I'll leave that to some other time. Let's just say it was through a common enemy. Like attracts Like after all.

Cept I'm cooler. lol jokes.

Anyways.

I SIDETRACKED DIDN'T I! OMG.

Alright back to the story. I met up with A.J and was introduced to his girlfriend. A sweet girl called D. She was very nice and very composed in a way, and I knew that she was definitely meant for him. Lucky guy. I'm so happy for him.

Anyways. (second time i know, thank gawd this isn't an english essay omg im sidetracking)

Met up with them, we watched the movie, "The day the world stood still" starring Keanu Reeves and a hot actress. ahhh she was hawt. We went to the Gardens and got ourselves the Premiere seat. Most bloody comfortable cinema seats I've ever been to. When the movie finished and we were out of there, we decided to go for drinks with his friends. We first went back to my place to pick up some stuff. Then we went to A.J's house and picked up a couple of his friends. They were nice blokes. One was easy to talk too. The other wasn't. He just kept talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and okay i'll stop. But yeah, that's how it was like. MY GAWD.

So after drinks, we were back at his friend's place. I called a good friend of mine. Turned out she was. Online. Shopping. LOL. It amused me. What else that amused me was the fact that I heard her say " I'm SOPPING " instead of " I'm SHOPPING". So you could probably imagine my natural reaction to it.

" What :| "

lol.

So my buddy and I stayed at his friend's place and we talked for AGES. Well. I guess to be more correct, he and his friend talked a lot more. I was just sitting there. Looking at the fishes. "Man, those fishes are HUGE". I was going to ask the guy about wether those fishes were Koy fishes. But I mean, how rude would it be to suddenly interrupt a "serious" conversation about, "If you were diagnosed with a certain disease, and you had the choice of choosing two new doctors, one whom has a tattoo, or one who is clean shaven, and looks professional?

I kinda wanted to say, 'Who the Fark cares. I'd choose any as long as they're a doctor who at least could explain to me what's going on with my disease or something". But yet again, I was too tired to really bother to say that long line of words. So I just stared away at the fish while my two rather drunk buddies talked about more doctors stuff which didn't really interest me.

If you stare at the fishes long enough and then quickly closed your eyes, you'd see them. LOL jokes.
But try it. lol

"We'll only be here for a bit."-A.J
"Okay", I foolishly and firmly believed to only be about an hour or so by my definition of .. "a bit".

5 FARKIN HOURS LATER.

Whilst I stared at the fishpond, I made a personal note to always ask A.J about certain things. Just to make sure. And I swear that big fish just winked at me. TIRED MUCH? yeah. I was.

He snapped me out of my rather strange mix of a trance/boredom, as he said rather loudly ... "Okay Bro, let's go"

"YAY OMG FINALLY YOU DUR HEAD"
Well, that's what I would have said. But all I did was nod.

Went back to his place, I was led to his sister's room (who's rather pretty, sadly she's in America now) and I made a HILLARIOUSSSSSS comment.

"Finally, I get to sleep in your sisters bed."

I lmao'd (laughed my ass off'd) and he kinda had a mix reaction to it.

He kinda ... lol'd but also kinda went f u at the same time.

I should ask him how he did it.

So I slept in his sister's TINY bed. Only slept for 4 hours. Dreamt of something but I could not remember what it was. I think I dreamt of sleeping. Twas comforting.

And when I awoke, it was 10'ish. I sat there on his sister's bed, and I kinda zoned out. I don't know how I did it but I managed to waste one hour just by staring at the floor. Intriguing.

Did all the necessities within the morning, woke Andrew up finally after many failed attempts within 2 hours. (5 text messages 3-4 missed calls).

Who'd have thought that all that i needed to do was to KNOCK.

grah.

Got ready for the party that was within an hour's time already. Got there.

PART 2 of Erk will be back to you by tomorrow.

My letter to the people who made maths and chemistry.

Okay, today I went to my friend's university, and I snucked into her lectures with her. It was a chemistry and maths lecture, and it bored me greatly. I was also quite tired since I woke up early in the morning just for this special event. And because of being both bored and tired... I decided to write a hate letter to the people who made maths and chemistry, and * i assume, knowingly* made it into a subject.

First one I wrote was at the Chemistry lecture.



Dear Person who made chemistry a subject by creating it,

I would first like to make this clear. I hate you. By hate, I mean, I despise you and your very existence. Sure, maybe without chemistry, this world would never know the taste of chocolate, refined white sugar, or slurpee.

BUT, it's because of YOU that this world is heading towards it's inevitable destruction. Chemistry has allowed man to access a whole new era of technology. This knowledge, which has obviously been abused by mankind, created the things which are destroying humans today. It helped create biochemical weapons, automated weapons and explosives, monkeys and McDonalds.

I blame YOU, Mr.Person who made Chemistry a subject by creating it, for this world's destruction. For the modern wars that occur, for the Agent Orange chemical weapon, and for the increased rate of obesity occuring in this world.

You may have just raised your eyebrow to the 'obesity' statement and queried what I am going on about. I'll tell you why I said it. It's because of YOU and Chemistry that people made it possible to create fast food chains. KFC, Hungry Jacks, Red rooster and the worst of them all, McDonalds. Because of this, the world is now under attack by these major fast food companies. Humans of this age have no where to hide from them. They're EVERYWHERE because of YOU, I mean, there's one in my bloody back yard. Soon, I fear, this world will be replaced with f.. obese people. The major fast food chain companies will each take control of our continents and name it under themselves. *Eg, Macdronia*. Soon ... our television programs will be replaced with never ending fast food ads.

And soon, this world will die, because of your FRIGGIN curiousity.

You bastard.


Yours truly, Nikolai.

PS: The sulfur song SUCKS. * people who do not know this song, just google/youtube it*

( People, this is just a joke letter, and please don't get offended with the whole 'obese' thing, it's just a joke. lol)
( I acknowledge that all those fast food chains i mentioned are copyrighted. *just in case*)








Now, I wrote this when i was in the maths lecture, I wasn't as tired so my writing was a bit less .. passionate. lol.




Dear Person who made maths and knowingly made it into a subject,

You must be a really sad, lonely and sadistic person. What the hell is wrong with you!? Did your parents leave you in the basement because you loved numbers? I'm sure they did.

Look, even if that didn't happen, I'm sure that there is no reason that you, or anyone in the world, will make up or even devise maths.

What's that you say? Math's explains things and gives everything reason? Here's what I have to say to you.

*Please look behind this paper* ( I wrote this on paper, so imagine you just flipped the paper .. or not)

(Now, imagine GIANT Capital letters consisting of W, T and F. Then imagine little words on the side of it, "is wrong with you".)

Now that I have released that from my system, I'm going to describe the horrible consequences that your stupid Math has brought upon this world.

Maths is the leading cause for the phenomena of mass student and animal suicide. Those poor piggies... (okay, i was still kinda tired).

Also, it gave rise to theories and formulas that have no relevance in our life, whatsoever. Right now, there is this scottish/irish/I DON'T F*ING care, lecturer, who's talking about two boxes that has a line in it, and then adding CRAP to it. (Box plots, and this was true, the guy is irish).

He's talking about how that you can compare the average mean, median and mode between these two .... BOXES!!.

Are you happy with yourself? You've made life so complicated now.

You've made me, and many people, incredibly sad.

Nowadays, I look at my ice cream, and think to myself, "Oh my, the degrees in this is totally wrong. It doesn't follow the quadratic formula rule ( i wrote up the formula here, but it was wrong.. lol), those bastards!!"

See how sad I've become.

Your's sincerely,
Nikolai.